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Uncertain Spinach – Part 2

“Relax about your levels, mate. I heard that there hasn’t been a single case of cancer in living memory. That crystal round your neck will keep you safe if you rub it or not.” He paused. “You never know though, rubbing it like that all the time could upset its vibrations.” He laughed again as Lee blanched, letting go of the crystal so that it fell back into place against his throat. “Would you prefer to have missed out on the benefits of nuclear crops?”
“Me? Can you honestly imagine me not making the most of anything that’ll keep me healthy?” Lee’s smile was self-depreciating. “But I can’t afford to even think about this stuff.” He licked his lips, staring at the greenery in the vat. “Someone told me that your spinach can go for up to £1000 a kilo because it re-evolved without men messing about with it? That’s awesome, it really is.” He tugged at his crystal. “Still scares me witless though.”
Stu grinned. “That’s the medical stuff you’re thinking of. This stuff’s heading for the restaurant trade. The price they get for it on that market would make you weep.”
Lee gawped at him. “Really? Does it taste ok then?”
“I doubt it. You know what that crowd are like, though. If it tastes good, something else must be wrong.”
“They’ve got a point. Who would eat the stuff if it wasn’t doing you any good?” He reached for his goggles. “Let’s have a look then. Chernobyl or no, if the vibrations don’t synch this stuff is useless.” He took a moment to calibrate the goggles against the tables in his notepad, examined the consignment, and then made some entries in his spreadsheet. After a few seconds he took the goggles off and checked their alignment. He re-did the measurements and then checked his results against the spreadsheet again, frowning.
“Any problems?” Stu asked as he returned to pulling crates out of his van.
“No, I don’t think so. It’s just that these vibrations are high even for Chernobyl spinach.”
“That’s good isn’t it? The faster the vibes, the happier and healthier the consumer.” He mimicked the cheesily friendly tones of the advert, but then paused as he looked at Lee’s sceptical face. “What’s your problem? That crystal round your neck was only developed to let us get there to farm this stuff in the first place. Don’t tell me that you hadn’t realised they would work out a way to make it better?” He snorted. “You snooze, you loose in this game. There is stuff being grown in France that can already match the vibrations of our ordinary spinach, but we’re ahead of them, mate. This is the spinach of the future!” He threw his arms wide to encompass his entire load and then turned back to his work. “Been nice chatting Lee, but I need to get on. Talk to the boss if you’ve got a problem. It’s nothing to do with me.”
“Relax, Stu. I said I didn’t think there was a problem, didn’t I? I was just surprised, that’s all.” He eyed the vat of vibrant green spinach dubiously for a moment before returning to his notepad. When Stu stumbled with the next crate, Lee dropped his notepad and jumped forward to help him save the precious cargo. As he did so he glanced inside the van and his heart sunk. They hadn’t folded time and space into this van at all.
There was a teleporter in there.


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